Jan 27. Hello again. It has been four years since my last post, and so many things have changed since that last post. For starters, shortly after my last post I left my job. The three months I had spent working in my new store in Colorado was just the worst three months of work I had ever experienced..I’m not going to dwell on that further as it has been four years and I have somewhat moved on. I still think about those three months every now and then as more of a reflection on my current life. I moved on to a new brand a few weeks after leaving the previous one and had been with them since. Only a few months ago, I was promoted. Work life for me had gotten so easy that I was not actively searching for anything better. My boyfriend and I are still currently together. Eight years this week, and a few months after getting my new job in 2018 we brought my cat from California to Colorado.
My cat. His name is Jack and he came into our lives sometime in 2008, to my boyfriend’s life 2016. He’s about 14~, it’s hard to imagine he is considered to be a senior cat since he is still so full of life. Last year we noticed he had gradually started to lose weight. He was getting quite big so we attributed it to us rationing his food. A few visits to the vet didn’t result in anything concerning, vets continued to tell us he’s happy and healthy. A few weeks ago, we noticed one of his back paw was swollen and right above it was a mass. We took him in to the vet and had this mass removed and just a few days ago we were told that he had skin lymphoma. Without treatment, he’d only have less than half a year..maybe a full year with treatment. I’ve loved him for nearly half of my life and I can’t picture the rest of it without him. The thought does come to my mind as he is already in his senior years but I often think of cat parents who’ve had their cats for 30 years, maybe I could have mine for that long too. I guess I’m here because I have a hard time talking to anyone about sadness. I used to post on tumblr when there are certain feelings and emotions that I can’t properly convey to anyone. I guess I only have this now.
July 2. I wrote the above nearly half a year ago. A month after I had written that, we said goodbye to my sweet kitty. Life continued but I began to become somewhat depressed again. We had since adopted a new cat and while I love our new family member, I still miss Jack terribly. I think about him everyday and before our new cat, any thought of Jack would just sink me into sadness. Now, I’m able to think about him and enjoy the time I had with him without spending the rest of my day wallowing in sadness. But nowadays, I think about the time I had tumblr. I used to write my feelings there and had friends who I’d shared these feelings with but I suppose I don’t have that anymore. No friendly strangers’ sympathy without judgement. I miss those strangers, I never even had the chance to say goodbye. I occasionally log on and see who is still around and it does feel nice to see some familiar names still popping up.
So..goodbye again, hopefully not another four years till I write again.
fangsyfree 